I saw another coach getting a hard time on social media recently in respect of her success and it’s certainly not the first time I’ve seen successful people getting bagged for their success. I’ve experienced it myself from time to time. Seeing that post on social media inspired me to write this article and share a few viewpoints.
It’s a choice
Success is not everyone’s choice. As a business coach, I sometimes get clients who don’t want more clients but simply want to improve their systems to work smarter. Some people are happy with the level they are at and others want more. Both are fine and that is your choice. However, respect the other person’s choice and don’t make comments like “Oh, don’t you want anything more???” or “Haven’t you got enough!?” We are all unique individuals, if you are happy with less, then don’t sledge those who want to strive for more, and vice versa. Endeavour to be supportive of everyone’s wants and desires; even if they are not your own belief system.
Jealousy generates unfavourable comments
There will be always others out there doing better than us. Even if you’re at the top, you’ll see even aspects of what you do being done better by someone else. Good on them! If you’re receiving negative comments, then understand it’s possibly coming from people who are jealous and envious. They have not achieved your success and that stops them from supporting you in your own success. If you find yourself about to make (or post) a negative comment, then ask yourself why? Do you wish you had their success? Are you unhappy in your business (or life)? Do you want more, but just haven’t worked out quite how to achieve it? Wouldn’t a nicer approach be “Wow, you’re doing so incredibly well, could I buy you lunch and pick your brain?” They might decline, but they might just say yes.
We cannot control what people say, but we can control our reactions
Personally, someone said to me last week “Donna you’re all over social media, do you get any work done?” It wasn’t said in a particularly nice tone. Absolutely I get a heap of work done; I spend less than 20 minutes a day on social media, but what a compliment that it gives the illusion I’m ‘everywhere’. My marketing is working! How you respond and react is entirely within your control. My response was something like “Thanks! I hardly spend any time on social media, but I do have great marketing systems in place” and smiled. Am I going to post less or do less or worry people think I am just on social media all day? Nope! I also didn’t get to page one of Google by sitting back worrying about if people think I blog too often.
It’s not personal
If you’re on the recipient end of negative comments, remember it’s not actually personal. I know it often feels super personal and the comments are certainly sounding personal, but really what people are having a rant against is success. We’ve all heard the expression ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ where people discredit, disparage or shame others who are doing well, perhaps with achieved wealth or public fame. This is the same when a prospect says ‘no thanks’ to your product or service. They are not rejecting you personally plus it’s a ‘no’ today, not forever. Small business owners often take this as a personal rejection and feel bad about themselves or begin to start doubting. If you know you have a great product or service, then learn to communicate that well to your prospect and have an exceptional sales process. Even with the best product or service, you can’t expect all the business to come your way, sometimes your competitors will get the job. Good for them. : ) Don’t hold yourself back or not self-promote from fear of what others might think or say. Be proud of your hard work and success.
The best success looks easy
The best run event looks like it runs itself and the same goes with general business success. Often the most successful business makes it look almost easy. That is when you know that the business owner (and their team) are working damn hard behind the scenes. The coach I mentioned at the beginning of this article I know reasonably well. I know she’s worked super hard, with massive hours, heaps of travel and quite a few sacrifices along the way. She has achieved fame and money and success. Remember I mentioned choices. Some people chose not to be business owners. They recognised they don’t want to worry about cash-flow, employees, marketing, customer service, and all the other challenges (and opportunities) which come with being a business owner. The more you grow, the harder it gets and the greater the challenges. So it’s fair that with all that hard work comes reward. Otherwise, why would anyone even bother being in business?
We NEED successful people!
Without business (especially small business) we would be without product choices, competition and probably most importantly all the jobs that small business furnish. I’ve experienced employees make comments about it being ok to ‘pull a sickie’ or help themselves to stock because “the boss makes a mint”. Whatever happened to “you don’t bite the hand that feeds you”? In one of my prior businesses, I had 25 staff. I started work at 4am, rarely finished before 5pm, worked weekends and sometimes nights. A 90-hour work-week wasn’t unusual. I worked very hard to keep everyone busy, employed and making a good salary. Long hours (and sacrifices) were common, especially in the early days as I was learning to be more effective and before I learned to work ‘smart’ rather than simply ‘work hard’. The boss is not an employee’s enemy and without the boss, you would be without a job. A robust economy benefits all. The more successful business owners are, the more they sell or produce. The more they employ, and the more money they earn (and their team earn) the more this stimulates the economy. Good for you and good for me.
‘Money’ is not a Dirty Word
Coined from my other well-read blog “Sales is Not a Dirty Word”, none of us should be afraid of money. As a business owner, it’s ok to want to earn a decent dollar. It’s ok to charge what you are worth. It’s ok to want more (money, success, fame, share of the marketplace etc). Many of us were raised within the concept that money is evil, or wanting money is about greed. Some business owners will go for many years without a rate increase and almost fall into bankruptcy or closure because that is not sustainable. There is nothing wrong with money. With it, it allows you to have freedom and more choices. You can choose to buy things, grow, stimulate the economy, or simply it allows you to work a little less and instead donate time to charities and philanthropic activities. Again, this all helps our community and our country.
There is nothing wrong with wanting success, money or even fame or simply wanting more. Next time you go to make a negative comment about someone, ask yourself where is that is coming from? Are you feeling jealous or envious? Are you frustrated with your own level of success? If that’s the case and you want more in your business, but just don’t know how to achieve it then give me a call. Make a change to your life, rather than worrying or focussing on everyone else.