What do you really want out of life is a big question! It’s a question that I’ve asked (and considered even personally) for decades. As an experienced business coach and life coach, I know we wonder … what do we want from our lives? What do we want to achieve? I’m regularly asking ‘where do you see yourself in 5 years, 20 years?’ At what point in our life, so we say, I am happy and I’m achieving what I want? But before you go there – you need to know what your life goals are.
Here are some tips and thoughts to get you started on what you really want out of life:
Evaluate where you are now.
Think about your current situation (life, home, family, work, career, business, happiness, satisfaction etc) and consider what makes you happy or does not. Think about the things that bother you in your current life and you’d really like to change and try to be very specific with these. Also consider your past. What in your past wasn’t so great and you want to avoid that? Remember that negative experiences form who we are and are part of who we are, so whilst they might not be great, consider the learnings you’ve gained from that experience. I am not saying to focus on the negative or the past, but to use that to help you determine where you want to go.
Now think about what you are passionate about.
What do you love in your life, or what would you love more of in your life? What makes you happy, satisfied and content? Again, try to be somewhat specific. These might be feelings of achievement, or feeling appreciated and valued, or perhaps overcoming a challenge, or attaining a level of triumph. That makes you soar and gives you that feeling of elation or perhaps just that little smile on your lips. Not everything has to be big, or wonderful or spectacular. Sometimes it’s the little things in life which make the difference. It might be as simple as smelling summer jasmine at your front door as you enter your home at the end of the day. Sometimes so simple, but can give pleasure is wonderful too.
Now comes the step of writing down what you want out of your life.
Try to be specific and it might be that first, your words are emotion and feeling-based. You want the feeling of being loved, or the feeling of security and safety? Perhaps you want to feel valued or to achieve a certain level in your career. If your initial thoughts are emotive words, then your next step will be to then consider what will help you feel that way? If you came straight to the result, then you are at the next step. Working this out might take a while; don’t force it or try to work it out in an afternoon.
What are the results you want to achieve?
If you said you wanted to feel secure and safe (the feeling words) and the practical solution to achieving that feeling might be to have your own home, then that might be one of your goals. You want to achieve the goal of owning your own home. The actual things you want to achieve can be so varied. There is no right or wrong answer. Someone may say they want to drive a nice car. Others may say they wish to achieve peace in their family relationships. Others again may say they want to get a great job, or to create something artistic. As I said these wants, desires and goals can be big or small. They might be achieved over a weekend, or perhaps they will take decades to achieve. They might actually be something which is ongoing, such as family happiness or a career. Try to think of things which excite you and will help you get up every morning.
Once you’ve ascertained what you want out of life, then the next step is to actually start working towards that goal.
You’ll need to work out what you need to do. If the scenario was getting into your own home, then savings and a reliable paying job will be on the top of the list. So whilst the long term goal is to get into your home, your short term goal might be to save $xxx a week in order to get a decent deposit. Often longer-term goals are broken up into smaller short term steps.
Consider also what sacrifices you might have to make.
Above I talked about saving for a home deposit. That might mean sacrificing some (but not all) of your daily treats. Instead of a new outfit or shoes every week, it might become only once a month. Instead of going drinking at the pub each weekend and sinking $300 you might curve your habits and go out less, or choose options which are not as expensive. In other words, it might be working to a budget. Yes, gasp, that word that many people hate. When I’m doing budget work with business coaching clients, I call it ‘planning for profit’ and so you might call your budget ‘planning for my future’. 🙂
What sacrifices will others need to be asked to make?
This one is harder, you’re affecting other people in order to achieve your goals, but it’s still fair to make those requests. It might be that because you’ve taken up study, you can’t hang out with friends as much, or your partner will need to care for the kids more, or perhaps you won’t be able to do as much charity work as you’d done before. Whatever the situation, you need to be a little ‘selfish’ to care for yourself. Some people think that taking time out for a massage and recharging your batteries is ‘selfish’ but I don’t. In order for me to be the best person I can be and care for those in my life, I need to recharge and look after myself. Stop sacrificing your dreams in order to be there for everyone else. Don’t be regretful. At some point in time, you need to come first. After all, if you don’t look after yourself – then who will?
Once you know what you want to achieve, then comes the planning on how you will achieve that.
What are those action steps which are needed to attain your goals and dreams? What changes will you need to make in your life to achieve those goals? Perhaps, you will need to share and communicate the direction you are taking. Perhaps there will be short-term sacrifices, in aid of the bigger and long-term good. Perhaps some days you will feel you’re falling behind, but stay positive and remember that many big things are not achieved in a day, a week or sometimes even a year. Persevere and stay on track to your dreams. If opportunities present themselves, even if it’s not in your direct or specified plan, consider them. It may be a career advancement or a new relationship you were not planning on having. Regardless, if a great opportunity presents, then consider building it into your plan. To me, plans (whether business or life) are often fluid and move. Sure, we have an overall plan, but some of the aspects will change, depending on what is happening in our life and the world around us.
Discovering and ascertaining what you want out of life can be easy for some and very difficult for others. Also what we want changes with time, with our growth, our development and our experiences. As a life coach, I work with clients to help you find out what you want out of your life, and then to get a clear and practical plan in place to work toward achieving those goals. If you’d like to learn more about my Life Coaching services, please just visit this page or my Contact page or give me a call on 0411 622 666. My passion is your potential.