Men and women are different – it’s reality – in life and in business. This article isn’t about being sexist, but about remembering that different genders do often operate in different ways. I think we sometimes forget this – or feel we cannot acknowledge it (or even talk about it) because of gender equality.
I’ve had to deal with a lot of different people in my business career over the years, and have learned a few things along the way. Here are my personal thoughts on what to take note of, and how to best manage different situations. Of course, this will not apply in every case but I think it will help frequently. My thoughts are generalistic; every person is different and in some instances, a person will have traits of the other gender. In other words, ‘read the room’ and get to know the person you’re talking to, selling to, or working with.
Take Note of These Gender Differences
Men are about reporting, women are about building rapport.
Most men (and yes, I am generalising) are focused on the facts, and success and the results, whereas women (again generalising) tend to focus on the personal connection. When dealing with men, don’t spend a heap of time trying to build a connection – most are simply not interested. Men use communication to share information, show expertise or solve a problem.
Men are happy being decision-makers; women prefer reaching a consensus.
To get a man’s respect, he just wants you to make a decision and not necessarily ask him to cast a vote or ask him to share his preference.
Men use fewer words; women use more.
A man doesn’t want to be on the phone with you for an hour – so be concise and to the point. And the same with your emails, if you make it pages long, he’s going to often lose focus after about the first paragraph. My tactic is often to email more often but each is very brief, and I love to use dot points; it keeps thoughts clear and concise.
Men don’t beat around the bush.
Sometimes they can be a little hurtful, but try not to take it personally. They often don’t know how to communicate something negative in a positive way; realise this and that they are not meaning to hurt your feelings – they are purely providing feedback – in their direct way.
Men rarely change topic; women jump from topic to topic.
If you are having a discussion with a man, keep on topic. If there is a second topic to discuss, finish the first cleanly and move on. If you jump from place to place, you will lose them; that especially applies if you are presenting a proposal. Follow a clear and precise flow of thought; don’t be scattered.
Men take a nod being agreement, not just you’re listening.
When women listen, they nod. It’s not a nod of acceptance or agreement, just that you are hearing. Men often perceive these nods as your approval and then later if you vote the other way or disagree, they are bewildered.
Men don’t share their problems – at least not initially.
Whilst women share more and will openly discuss a problem, don’t share a problem with a man, unless you are willing to accept his advice on what he believes will be the solution. Sharing to vent won’t work for a man as well as a woman – if you share, he will believe it’s to seek his help and problem-solving skills.
Men take less time to develop a relationship.
Women take up to 10 times longer to develop trust and build a business relationship than a man. Invest your time in the right proportion to its likely success. Having said that, women often remain loyal to a business longer (unless you do the wrong thing).
A man doesn’t hold a grudge.
This is one aspect of working with men I love. You can have a stand-up argument with a man and 10 minutes later, he behaves as if nothing happened. So, remember he is not holding a grudge, so don’t do so either. He probably won’t even realise why you are cranky at him a week later (or even an hour later)!
Men are more likely to purchase a business & women take less risk.
If you have a high-risk venture (which presumably will have high returns), target a male audience, as women prefer a low-risk venture. Interestingly, women are less likely to purchase a business, so again, if you are selling a business a male audience may be a better target market for you. Likewise, if you are trying to convince your female partner to go into large debt or take a risk, this is not in our nature so much; it’s more uncomfortable. You will need to have done your research and be able to clearly show the risk is as minimal as possible.
As I said, we are different in many ways. A female will likely see the female traits are better, and the men see the masculine traits are better – I see both sides. As a business coach I work with both genders and each gender is good for different reasons.
While statistically 65% of new businesses are being started by women, the male component of people in business is a high proportion – so work out how a man ticks and talk his language, walk his walk and you will get the most from the business relationship. I’m not saying change who you are, just understand who HE is. Want help about this issue or anything else, please get in touch here.
Read How to Lift Your Spirits.
